Official Post #1 - The French Bread Connection

I was prompted to start this blogging business regarding my kitchen related adventures (and misadventures) by my biggest fan and cheering section member, my darling Mother.  I am thrilled that she is as excited as I am about my new endeavor, but with all of the "Food Bloggers" out there, I would hate for this to fall upon deaf ears - but I will push through my self-esteem issues and PERSEVERE!!

Upon waking up this morning, I was overwhelmed with the pull to my oven.  It was calling to me, "Put something in ME!"  So, in order to fulfill its needs, I sat down to my kitchen table, coffee in hand, and began to brainstorm; what does everyone like?  Carbs.  What do people eat almost daily?  Bread.  What should I put into my needy oven? Hmmm .... BREAD!!  But bread .. typical white bread?  No.  I was feeling adventurous.  And so begins the saga of the French 'Bread' Connection. 

I began, much like I always begin in the kitchen - assembling all my ingredients in a neat little parade of sorts across my counter, giving my beloved KitchenAid a tender pep talk, and firing up my now eager oven. 

Upon surveying my ingredients I found another cup of coffee to be necessary .... French Bread.  Hmmm.  How intimidating.  Anything with "French" in it gives me chills up my spine as if Julia Child herself were watching me in action.  But, swallowing hard, and sending up a small prayer to Ms. Child, I took up my pen and began a little recipe generation. 

I have done yeast breads before, so how hard could “making it French” be?  A little more air in the dough, a little more butter (again, props to Ms. Child) and maybe a little more fiddle'ing with the rise and fall of the dough - so here, we dive in. 

THE SkinnyBitch's Guide to The French Bread Connection –

Ingredients –
1 ¼ c Hot tap water
1 Packet of dry QuickRise yeast
1 ½ T Salt
1 T Butter, melted
3 ½ c All-Purpose Flour

Directions – (or general guidelines, I’d hate to think I was “directing” anyone!)
I dissolved 1 packet of QuickRise yeast (I literally use whatever's on sale at the local SuperSave, so if you're thinking that if you're going to make fancy bread, you need fancy ingredients, that's definitely false - I'd like to clear that air ASAP) into "hot to the touch" tap water (they say it should be about 110 degrees Fahrenheit, but again, I like the element of surprise in cooking, so I just assume that my hot tap water is in and around that benchmark - it's my own version of the lottery at home).  I then added about a tablespoon and a half of Kosher salt, a tablespoon of butter (salted or unsalted, I'm not particularly anal about that - really, whatever you have in the butter dish is perfectly fine) and about 3 and a half cups of all-purpose flour to the warm mix of yeast and water. 

I did all of this in my KitchenAid as to make my life substantially easier, considering the amount of kneading that would be involved, I'm a lazy human being and I enjoy cutting corners whenever possible.  So if you're adopting my method of thinking as far as work is concerned, use the mixer and mix the dough on Speed 2 for 4 minutes, making sure that the contents of the bowl remain in the bowl and not in and around the areas of your counter, floor, ceiling, dog, etc.  I will take this opportunity to tell you folks that the dough will be sticky, not to worry!  It just means that your bread is going to be moist and tasty post-oven trip.  

Upon finishing the mixing process, I removed this lovely, sticky dough and put it into a greased bowl (butter-flavored cooking spray is my stand-by for this), making sure that I covered the entire sticky mass with the oil -- this is the moment that my baking endeavor becomes worth it; that intense and distinct aroma of yeast in flour with the buttery smell from the greased bowl makes my mouth water just thinking about it!  After having your own person "moment" with the dough, if that's your style - like it is mine, cover the bowl in a damp kitchen towel and sit back and relax for about an hour.  You will return in about 60 minutes to the dough, which will have undoubtedly doubled in size.

After returning to your dough, I'd like you to take out any MILD frustration you may have on it.  Go ahead!  You've got this Skinny Bitch's permission to do so.  But have a slight amount of restraint - remember how tiny those little yeasts were?  Don't muscle them around too intensely!

Now, this is where things go from SkinnyBitch straightforward to French-style fiddle'y.  You're going to now need to harness your patience, breathe, and divide your dough into either 2 (for 2 larger loaves) or 6 (for sandwich roll sized) equal portions.  Then you're going to roll each of the portions out (about 1/2in thickness).  Take the now pizza-esque looking dough pile and roll up like a jelly roll, rolling rightly and sealing the ends as you roll.  Place the cute little rolls of yeasty goodness onto foil lined pans - cover and take another hour or so break. 

ALMOST THERE!!

When you return from your 40-60 minute breather, your dough will be doubled in sized again; you're now seconds away from filling that beckoning oven with delicious soon-to-be bread.  With a sharp knife (I use my partner in crime's filet knife .... SHhhhh!) make diagonal cuts across your loaves, about 2 inches apart.  Bake at 450 degrees F for 12 minutes (sandwich roll-sized) or 16 minutes (loaf-sized).  Remove from the oven and brush a mixture of 1 egg white and 1 tablespoon of water onto the warm, fragrant beauties that you can now call bread and place them back into the oven for 2-3 minutes. 

Remove from the baking sheets and allow to cool completely (or until you can't stand the smell in your kitchen any longer and you tear into them with complete abandon, equipped with butter, flavored olive oil, jam, etc. and commence to a carb coma). 
I realize this is a lot - but be not afraid!  If this girl can do it, you most certainly can!  Be brave!  Now go forth and indulge yourself in the amazingness that is this bread!  You (and your loved ones that will attack this bread like fiends once their olfactory systems realize what you're doing) will be glad you did!!

As much as it pains me, this concludes my very first dabbling into the realms of "The Blog" - but I will return!!  Until then ..

XOXO